god help me
Ok here goes... I think the results of the bar would be out tomorrow night. And at the moment... I really can't find the strength to relax. I AM SCARED! Although I hate to admit it, all these time.. I've been fooling myself that everything is cool. But you know what? It is not.Things are not cool, I'm not cool. I never was cool. When Judy and I parted ways after having coffee... I find myself thinking and meditating (?)... thoughts have been going in and out of my head unceasingly. And i did remember the eve of the first sunday very clearly, I don't want to fall asleep cause I know that if I close my eyes the next time that I opened it would be Sunday already. That's what I am feeling now.
I thought that I'm prepared for this day. I am not. I'm scared as I can be. All I can think of right now is God. Cause I know he'll give me the strength to carry on. Cause I know that in the absence of faith in myself, he somehow still believes in me. Cause I know, that he would guide me all through this.
I do wish Jane is here. I do wish that I'm strong. It's not even out yet, and I'm crying already. *sniff*
posted by jaded fool @ 9:11 PM
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