rants and ramblings

a not so happy thought

Happiness.

People struggle to be happy. They constantly strive to lead a complete and happy life. They work hard, sweat a lot, and live with faith to be able to get it. Some get what they want, and some just constantly struggle. And when I feel that I am having a big fight with life… when things don’t go the way that I have prayed they would – depression envelops me. That’s the time that I thank God I have my friends, my family and my journal.

Though I don’t share much of my problems with my friends, they have comforted me a million times just by being there. I have appreciated the times that my best friend saved me from depression by being with me. She would ask me to hangout with her, sharing our thoughts and emotions, talking endlessly – reassuring and comforting me that better things would come my way.

While I’m close to my family, I don’t share with them problems. As much as possible, I would like to solve my predicament on my own. I do not want my parents and siblings to worry about me. They provide me the support to stay strong and again believe in myself.

My journal is my silent companion. When I don’t want to be judged or I just want to let it all out without bugging anybody – my journal provides me the soundboard that I need. More often than not – it helped me with my heartaches and feeling of loneliness. Somehow, it eases the pain that I feel and gives me the release that I badly needed.

It saddens me that there are times that I can’t be there physically for my friends. Distance is one of life’s big jokes. We just have to settle talking over the phone or be secured in the knowledge that we’re there for each other. So far, my friends and I are still struggling to find our own happiness. We continuously search for that thing that would provide us the greatest happiness yet. Though I cannot consider my friends unhappy… I know they are still searching… just like me, for that lasting bliss. There’s no assurance that it will come, I’m not even sure if it will – but I do hope that time will come we would all live a life of contentment, a life rich in respect and love.

Yes, I might still be searching but I am not discouraged. I will keep faith to the fact that we are ENTITLED to be happy. I have to remain optimistic that it will come. I will not lose hope that one day it will find us.. & it would stay.