rants and ramblings

thoughts in my head

Everybody gets depression attacks once in a while. I am not an exception. I used to have these attacks once a month. Thank god, those days are gone! Guess writing or keeping a journal helped a lot. Especially when you are alone, it is when sad thoughts emerge from the back of your mind... creating fear, confusion, and uncertainty that consequently leads to depression.

Fear of the past. Fear of the present, Fear of the future… fear is endless. One way or another there would be something about you, about your past and your present that will frighten you. But then again, what matter is how you deal with the present, for it is where the future depends.

We all have our own history… whether good or bad, that part of our lives made us what we are today.

Can love withstand the challenges of life? Or does it dry up like tears? When and where does love end? Will love subsist amidst life’s sorrows and pain? Will love endure the agony? Or will it be strong enough to sustain you both?

I say, love ends when it is no longer there. Personally speaking– love ends on my part when the person I love decided to move on without me. When finally, everything has become one sided. Some love survives the countless sorrows and pains. And I am astounded that somehow they were able to endure the test of time. Their love has become an anchor – a source of strength, courage and determination to prove to the world that they can and they will survive.

There was a time in my life that I refuse people to get close to me for the simple reason that I thought that letting them know me – would consequently lead them away. But what I didn’t know is that the process of protecting myself was in itself turning away from the very people that I wanted to get close to.

I’ve come to realize that people who like you will stay no matter what – and people who don’t like you will naturally go away.

Would the past change the way you feel for a person? Would it affect the way you feel? Would it not make you think again?

Past is a tool to know other people better. By knowing her/his history—you tend to understand her/his dispositions, you come to understand their way of thinking. I would be lying if I say that knowing one’s past does not affect the way I feel --- it does. Such knowledge enlightens you to decide on what you want. It leads you to make a choice.

We desire things that we do not have. And I’ve learned a long time ago that I don’t have what I don’t need. But it doesn’t mean that I’ve quit dreaming and hoping for better things. Wallowing for other people’s good fortune or things that you desire eat up so much of your time that you forget to appreciate the things and the people that you currently have in your life.

Lucky are those who were able to find someone who will love them despite all their imperfections.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that what really matter is the NOW and FUTURE of our lives. How you were able to bring laughter to the world, how you were able to share yourself, how you live and how you love.