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Happy 23rd birthday Nel!
Though he doesn't consider me as his friend anymore… I think its proper for me to mark my journal with this event. He was afterall a special person in my life. But now, he finally bid goodbye..[And we're not even friends] *sniff sniff* Things are really vague.. so many questions left unanswered… but that's what he wants. Got to give the b-day boy what he wants ey?
I've known him for quite a while, he was nice, funny and entertaining. You can talk anything under the sun with him. But with the good side comes a bad side, he doesn't compromise, he doesn't like explanations. And here I thought I'm the only one who say things that I don't mean. [Oh yeah.… he's also guilty of that too]. I just don't understand why things should be the way they are. Although there was a time that I was in pain-- knowing he is caring and loving another person now.. I swallowed that pain and befriended him and his new love. I send him card everyday -- until my heart grew tired and surrender to the fact that I lost him & things wouldn't be the same. I can't live the rest of my life pining over someone who professed to have found the girl he's going to take home to his mom. Oh yes, I endured the pain of knowing that I was not good enough… the pain of witnessing how he can love her more than he loved me. I endured that-- with swallowed pride.. I was just there.. Witnessing all these and yet keeping my mouth shut for fear that I might say things that I would regret later. I do hope that this would be the last time that he'll be able to inflict this pain on me… I do hope that he'll never have the power to hurt me again. Things have been shared, good or bad-- I'm going to keep them.
My birthday wish:
Do hope that things will work out fine now that I'm out of your way.. Live and enjoy your life to the fullest. Know what you want. Strive for it, keep it within your reach, treasure it , hold on to it for as long as you can. Be happy and safe always kiddo!!
I'll see you when the right time comes.
posted by jaded fool @ 11:15 AM
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