unemployed
Nothing is more depressing than finishing 9 years of college education, passing the board exams and end up a BUM. Yes... you guessed that right.. after all these months.. i am still (but hopefully not forever) unemployed. I have been to a lot of interviews and examinations.. I even got to the final interview... but that's the farthest I've ever been. After that... there would be a long silence. Silence that would simply mean-- I did not get the job. It is so frustrating to keep your hopes high when you know that nothing would ever come out of your efforts.
It is tiring to expect something that would never come true.-- it crushes your self-confidence and your self worth. ARGH!
From that time that I took the exams last year-- up to may of this year.. I was able to get employment. Sadly, I was not able to hold on because of pressure the heart and of the mind. I have to leave CVG because I had a problem with my relationship. I had to sacrifice my professional growth to stop infidelity. I did not leave the company legally. I just stoppped reporting. The second company was a visa consultancy firm- I left the said company because I don't want to be used as a bait to whatever illegal transactions my employers are involved in. -- I did not go back ever.
There are even times when I feel like the Karmatic Gods are working against me for what I did to my previous employers. I honestly want to apologize to them..at one point, I even wanted to go back to CVG and work again. I do hope that they will forgive and would just forget about me.
At one point, I even asked God, quite angrily-- why this thing is happening to me.All I ever want is to work and provide for my family. The pressure that they're bestowing upon my shoulders are growing heavier and heavier. I can't even go out of the house for fear that people would ask me where I am working, and I would end up telling them-- I don't have one. I am ashamed that this is happening to me. I can't even look at my parents in the eye.. I am so tired of being a bum.
They told me that I am way too picky in choosing work-- i beg to differ. I am willing to work--anytime, anywhere. Its just that they're not giving me thr opportunity to prove myself. If God would hear me-- as I know He would--I know, the HELP is on its way..and the answer to my questions will be finally answered.
All in god's time.
posted by jaded fool @ 2:17 PM
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