rants and ramblings

3 days left before my bday

i was busy on saturday and too lazy to tinker on the laptop come sunday. i was thinking about my ex when a thought hit me.. the ex had totally moved on. in fact, i pictured myself clawing into their lives while the ex bravely fights my wicked moves. I always have the knack of reliving fairy tales in my head only to end up in tragedies. I wish all my bitterness would go away. I wish I'd think of something or someone and feel normal. I have so much resentment in me lately.. I have so much anger that I want release (but don't know how).. There is that innate desire to restructure or reconstruct my life in order for these negativities to go away. I don't want to be angry towards my work.. some of my family members, i don't want to be angry with myself anymore. But as you may already know-- I do not know how to address these issues.

I live for some moment and think a lot. That's what I do. I plan a lot but sometimes, hell.. most of the times-- I don't act on them. And I also resent that.

For today, I wish that all my resentments towards life, work and myself (meaning failed relationships, losses and job not well done--a lot!)would go away. I wish I'd learn how to handle defeat graciously and express my anger and frustrations more productively.

Labels: just venting out