high standards
When nanay left.. she left a part that nobody else can fulfill. she raised that bar too high that none of us can do it the way she did it. It is surprising that she was able to do those things singlehandedly everyday for 30 years (speaking for myself since i've live 30 years last march)
The way she prepared the food we got from the market.. the cooking.. the beautification of the our home.... the way she took care of tatay and our family. none of us could ever come close to what she was to my Tatay.. what she had become.. none of us could ever do all the things that she did out of love and goodness of her heart.
We took out all her clothes and stuff from the closet-- it was hard for me.. as I ended up smelling them.. wrapping them around me... remembering how it feels having her arms around me... remembering how good or bad she looks in those clothes. That's all I could do now.. remember her.. remember our memories. It breaks my heart when i see her handwriting.. when reality creeps in my head that I can no longer see her.
I miss her terribly. her wits.. her stories... her smell.. her laughter.. I miss her whole being.
posted by jaded fool @ 2:08 PM
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