my 1000th post
This is my 1000th post here at blogger. In celebrating my 1000th post, I would like to dedicate this space for a special letter to my Nanay.
dear 'nay,
You never left my heart and mind. I think of you constantly... I remember our times together and how you've tagged me along kahit malaki na ako. I miss you terribly 'nay.. the way you kiss me and smell me. The way you were amazed by my stories. You were an avid listener of my wacky stories. I cry everytime I think of you.. my heart breaks everytime I would realize I could never feel the warmth of your embrace or hear your laughter again.
I dreamt of you last night and I never wanted to wake up. I was hoping it was true.. you kissed me and hugged me, it felt wonderful. I miss our laughters and the crazy jokes we shared with each other. I truly wished you never left, it is so hard without you. Everything was harder.. and we never did struggle like this before. You were our strength 'nay. We drew courage from you.. you led us to make the proper decisions.. you and tatay made us who we are today.
Alam mo ba 'nay, napromote ako... nakapasyal na ako sa Lake Caliraya...at nagbabayad ng pensyon mo ang SSS. Alam mo ba, nanalo ulit mayor si alfredo lim at binuksan nya na ulit ang Carriedo. Naalala mo ba nung nagpupunta tayo ng Uniwide? Wala tayong kapaguran sa paglakad nun at paghabol sa jeep. Bumili kami ni ate ng laptop.. we keep buying stuff to cover up our loss. And it will never be enough. Kahit anong bagay na materyal pa dito sa mundo ang bilin ko-- wala ka pa rin sa amin.
Andito ako ngayon sa opisina, sa maliit na cubicle ko...nakatingin
sa litrato mo. Iniisip ko kung paano na kami..iniisip ko bakit ka umalis.. bakit ngayon pa..
I got many plans for us. I grew up thinking and praying to God to give you and tatay long life... pero kinuha ka nya agad. Ibig bang sabihin, di sya nakikinig sa mga dasal ko? Nung maliit ako, naiisip ko palagi na paglaki ko, pag nagkatrabaho ako-- bibigyan ko kayo ni Tatay ng maraming pera.. mamamasyal tayo kahit san natin gusto.. bibilin natin yung mga bagay na wala ka ng bata ka. And when you left, parang.. bakit?! Pano na yung mga dreams ko for you? And I would imagine you telling me "Ganun talaga anak, una-una lang yan. Lahat tayo mamamatay." Yet, I still wonder why it had to be you.. Why it had to be now.. ni hindi ka pa nga nakakapagpasarap sa buhay.
We owe you a lot 'nay. Walang kapantay yung serbisyong binigay mo sa amin... kaya nakaksakit ng loob isipin na hindi man lang kami nakapagbayad ng serbisyo sayo. You are so entitled to that. Ngayon palang tayo nagsisimula.. ngayon ka palang babawi.
We miss you a lot. I miss your Afritada, Menudo and Relyenong Bangus. I miss our showers together, our duets, syempre ang pagikot sa Quiapo at Divisoria. I am thankful for you, for having you for my Nanay.. at alam ko naman na alam mo, I am very proud to be your daughter. We love you so much Nanay Aba.
Love,
Onie
posted by jaded fool @ 2:18 PM
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