legally incapacitated
just days before God's big day... i have to add career challenge on my list. I'm over a year old at my current job now.. and i felt that my candle finally diffused this month. Don't get me wrong, this job could be really rewarding.. sometimes overly demanding. I was hoping during the past year that i'd be able to learn everything, get hold of the grasp and finally see my boss happy after editing my drafts. I don't know what is wrong with me... have i gone slow? or am i really slow? do i need to see a doctor for my brain? I feel so incompetent. Is incompetency curable? It feels like no matter what I do or how I do it-- It would just not be enough. my work would still be haphazardly done. i get envious of my co-workers that sometimes i want to take out their brains just to see how come i don't think like they do.. or how come their work is better than mine.
they pulled the cases that were assigned to me. everything. all of them. such embarrassment. i was surprised yesterday when i came in to see that my desk is cleared of its usual paper junk... i looked for the notice of termination (seriously) or eviction just in case...
i don't know if this is the end. all i know is that i am embarrassed because of what happened. i pretend that i'm alright but really, i am not. I cannot accept that i'm incapacitated to do this job.
so here i am at 2.45 in the afternoon.. with all these administrative assignments on my hand... i started thinking about my career, how this has become one of the lowest phase of my life... and how sad that everything has come to these.
Labels: moments, work related angst
posted by jaded fool @ 2:33 PM
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