ewan
ei world, been busy with work and stuff.. so how have you been? i'm glad to inform you that my social life has greatly improved... been all over the metropolis, wasting the ever precious gas.
hmmm.. i'm disturbed.. the talks that I had with G two days ago... the events during the weekends.. it seems like nothing makes sense.
you see.. i'm seeing someone now... yeah I like her. I enjoy being with her.. we would talk a lot..drink beer.. go places.. and wonder why life has to be the way it is.
i stopped feeling bad/sad for myself when we started going out. i stopped wondering whether someone out there would actually like me just the way i am... or if i could actually like other people.. (turned out that i can) and most importantly, i stopped wondering why G was able to replace me just like that.
we don't see each other everyday.. nope..it's kinda complicated and the complication is beyond explanation. imagine.. it took me 6 months to be able to like someone. and the person that i like is super complicated. tsk.. bad choice, bad choice...
two days ago... i got 6 missed calls from G. I thought there was some kind of emergency so i texted her and asked if she's alright. She then asked me to call her... so i did. we talked.. the usual how do you do's. and then came the proposal... she would not communicate with me and we'll just see each other come September 20, in that place where we first met. I said ok. I'm clueless why it had to be that way-- but then..sige lang... yun ang gusto nya eh. She invited me to spend the day with her, said she's going to help me house hunt but i already promised someone my time..
i told her that i can't go because i have to be somewhere late in the afternoon.. she then asked me if i can stop whatever it is in a months time. I really don't know what to answer her.. so i told her i'd rather not talk about it.. but she kept on insisting.. that led her to conclude that i do like this new girl. she said she wanted to know so she'd know where she stand..
ewan.
i'm not the one committed here.. im not the one who got a girlfriend after two month's of break up.. im not the one who left!
she told me her gf was everything that i am not... that the gf knows how to be in a relationship... etc. etc.. sucks right? G told me that she hates the new me.. i asked why.. "cause the new you doesn't love me.." she replied.
ewan talaga.
i'm this way now because i can't yearn for her the rest of my life. she's with someone now... i got to move on.. i had to.
super ewan.
i have never loved anybody as much as i have loved G. but what is my assurance that this time would be different? what security do i have? that phone call ended with nothing concrete. i feel that i got no future with L (this early on i got the knack of knowing things like this..) and im afraid to take a risk with G again... EWAN. kamusta ka naman earth, ang labo mo.
Labels: just venting out, reltionships
posted by jaded fool @ 9:33 AM
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