standards
First of all, I owe myself an apology because I got weak and caused myself self-inflicted pain. Two days vs. Five. And I do forgive myself for this little slip up. Honestly, it gets easier everyday. Loving myself and forgetting bout the asshole that was in my life. I was looking for that feeling of loneliness and heartbreak but I couldn't find them. I once asked myself what is it that I love about P and I couldn't come up with an answer. But I do miss a constant textmate.. Or someone who would pick me up.. BUT In her absence, my phone still rings and receive sms.. Not as much but at least I know my phone still works. In her absence I have to re-learn how to get home by myself and enjoy the ride. Sometimes it gets lonely but I know it has to be that way or the cycle of lies, deceit and problems would go on. I had enough of that.
I read about standards today. It is important to have them. And reflecting on this artictle, I know I have sacrificed the standards that I used to believe in so I would not be alone. And that was wrong. Sometimes, that relationship was even lonelier.
Sticking it out because you want an instant date.. Sticking it out despite being cruel to you. Forgive but give no chances. That should be the rule. Everybody deserves a second chance.. But asking for it repeatedly.. Committing the same thing and giving the scumbag another chance was wrong and totally my fault. I shouldve seen her for what she is. I shouldve learned the lesson early on.
I would not sacrifice my standards again. They are important. I am important.
I deserve respect, love, affection and a whole lot of understanding. Why? Because i'm a special woman and I rock.
Labels: relationships, self-love
posted by jaded fool @ 7:48 PM
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