rants and ramblings

bon voyage mama Jane

One of the saddest feelings is seeing someone you love… someone you've spent your life with, leave. Today, mama Jane left for the US to join her husband and start their own family. Right now, I don’t know where I am heading to- I don't know how am I going to deal with the present much more the future. I really find it hard to believe that today, I've seen the last of Moonwalk, Las Piñas… I've come very attached to their house.. It's like my second home.

I know today, I left so many words left unspoken… I wanted to say so many things.. But somehow I just don't want to be the one to start the wailing and make it hard for mama to leave. Ah I know, I'll just write it here.

Dear mama jen-jen,

Hey! :) We got home safely…. I do hope that you had a safe flight and nothing traumatic happened to you. I'm here in my room.. Thinking of you and what's ahead of us. I don't feel like doing anything…. I just want to write and let this pain out. It's killing me. Missing you is killing me. Uwi na ka…. Pls!? These are the things that I want to tell you-- I'm grateful that God gave you to me. A sister, bestfriend, savior, protector, listener, adviser… all rolled into one. I've seen you take care of your loved ones in a special way, I've seen you how you can be so generous and how you can love unconditionally. I'm so glad that I've seen you at the stairs during our college days, I knew then that you are one special lady. You love your friends truly and deeply-- unlucky are those who didn't have the chance to meet you and become your friend. They missed half of their life. And to those people who had earned your wrath-- well.. I can only feel sorry for them for betraying you and for letting you go [their lost, our gain!]. There's something in you that leaves a mark although the meeting is somewhat brief. Yep! You are one special person. I wouldn't trade you for the world. I know you are aware how greatly you influence my life and all the decisions that I made. You know me too well same thing goes for me… even without saying a word, you know what's going on inside my head. Thank you for letting me face reality in a gentle manner… Thank you for the toinks on the head whenever i'm in a state of denial. Thank you for you patience when I'm being so makulit and also for laughing at my corny jokes. I love to hear that loud laughter. Thank you for your generosity and for letting me experience the best years of my life. Keep the spirit that everything will be ok. Be positive, alright? Enough with the negativities… we'll be waiting for you. I will be waiting for you.

Though we are apart-- I know that no one can measure up to what we had shared. No one-- from my past, or my future can cope up to what you have shared. You have shared your life with me. You have shared yourself to me. You let me into your life without any conditions… without any pretensions… I would always be grateful for your friendship. You are MAMA JEN-JEN. Iisa lang yan sa mundo!

Take care of yourself always and remember that we are missing you so much. Not a second, not a day, not a week will pass that I won't think of you… don't ever change. I love you just the bitchy way you are.

-koni