ambivalence
according to the ever reliable answers.com, ambivalence refers to an underlying emotional attitude in which the co-existing contradictory impulses (usually love and hate) derive from a common source and are thus held to be interdependent.
while wikipedia defines it as a state of having emotions of both positive and negative valence or of having thoughts or actions in contradiction with each other, when they are related to the same object, idea or person (for example, feeling both love and hatred for someone or something). The term is also commonly used to refer to situations where 'mixed feelings' of a more general sort are experienced or where a person experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something.
without going into clinical psychology-- i think i am in a state of ambivalence right now. not that i hate her..its just that i dont want and i want to be with her all at the same time. its wanting to stay and wanting to go. wanting to wait and wanting to move on. holding on and letting go. its the thought of her and the possibilities of others. i dont know if im making any sense here. i just want to express how i am feeling. the feeling of wanting to be with her and moving on is so strong. but i have to be an adult about this. i have to accept what fate or destiny or whatever has in stored for us. it is only through this that she'll be happy..and ain't her happiness my paramount concern? it'll always be her before me. it was my committment. always will be.
posted by jaded fool @ 7:55 AM
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