sorry
Yesterday I made a wish when I was in piat. Today, I discovered that wishes do not come true. I am embarassed to admit that I was subjected again to rejection. She doesn't want me feeling this way. Getting worried and missing her so is one huge sin that made her turn her back on me. She ended it with a Sorry and I realized how easy it is for this person to break me in pieces.. How easy it is for her to just pull me out of her life. It was a unilateral decision on her part as it has always been. Wounded and hurt, I have to push myself to turn my back and walk away from the only person I ever wanted. I have to be strong for myself, have to give up niceties cause they're just bs anyway. I have learn how to be cold.. To survive.. and to be better.
The truth is I don't matter to her. Something I have to accept and get over with. It was just a text.. I just wanted to know she is ok.. And that didn't matter to her. To her, I was just being clingy or expecting too much.
Today, I gave my lecture with a heavy heart and no matter how good it was.. It was just not as satisfying as having someone to share it with. I pray I get better and finally be able to let my guia go. I do not want this struggle anymore. There is no fairy tale..at least not for me.
A few days before my birthday, I stop making wishes. They just don't come true.
Happy birthday, koni.
Labels: ikaw kasi, my thoughts exactly, self-love
posted by jaded fool @ 5:13 PM
<< Home