let's pretend
it was a terrible day yesterday. i was unproductive and my head was literally blank. i kept on thinking about the events that transpired the day before. it was heartbreaking. i'm not sorry it happened.. i'm sorry i expected something really really way out of line. it was beautiful, which is precisely why it hurts.
i called on E to see me and told her everything that happened. And for the first time she told me to go home.. wala daw kasi akong kwentang kasama dahil nakatulala lang naman daw ako. I was like that the whole time, my mind wandering off.. my heart in pain.. my imagination going bersek... i was in trance. E said that the pain will go in days. Charge to experience na lang daw.. I said i'll just pretend that it didn't happen. She kept on telling me it did and there's nothing I could do about it. "Huwag mo na lang hayaang maulit.", she said. She was amazed and concluded that I still love G. I took everything in silence.
I even had the guts to text G, asking her if she is alright... basically because I was not. I was psychologically and emotionally crazy.. when the last message fell on deaf ears, i said goodbye. maybe this is the way things should be..
so today, i brush it off and pretend it did not happen. I just hope our paths would not cross again i cannot go through what I've gone through yesterday. mababaliw ako. i never did pray for death until yesterday.
posted by jaded fool @ 10:41 AM
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