broken all over again
before our last talk two days ago, i never gave much credit to G's claim that she and her girl are now separated. To me, it's just a lover's quarrel and reconciliation is always possible. no matter how busy she is at work, she'd always find time to reply to me. so when she suddenly became so quiet-- i wondered what's goin on. the ugly and undeniable truth is that her girl flew to cebu to reconcile with her. and based from the answers that i got from the G, they are back together.
it was painful.
yes, i do not have the right to feel pain because the G and I are not together-- but subtly i was hoping for our second chance. I have been very vocal about it. I couldn't breathe. I felt choked.. the pain was just too much. and that's the point i decided i have to let go. for the nth time in our lives, she has chosen another over me. my heart couldn't stand it. at the back of my head--- it felt like everything was doing great until this ugly truth hit me in the face.
she said she's glad i finally decided to make myself better. and i snapped back, telling her to cut the pep talk cause she's just making everything harder than it already is.
i wish for this pain to go away. it is clouding my head.. filling my chest with heaviness i just want to rid off. Ate said di naman daw kami magkasundo ni G. Or siguro talagang love niya si J kaya ganun, which made everything heavier and more painful.
a few days back, i had a dream about the G. in it i was crying cause she left me and I was looking for her everywhere. i woke up in tears. I never thought it was prelude for today.
So I cry today.. I will feel terrible today but tomorrow-- I am brushing everything off.
No more second chances.
Labels: ikaw kasi, just venting out, love, relationships
posted by jaded fool @ 3:19 PM
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