thoughts
P came when everybody was so busy running their own lives . There was a time when I did not pay attention and ignored her her totally. Everything changed when one night she became my refuge. My only escape when the world made me feel worthless. P is funny, sensible, witty, intelligent, not bad looking and seems to make me laugh all the time. Sounds like a perfect catch huh? Almost but not quite the catch that I am looking for. You see, P is more troubled than ex...she's overly demanding of time and ain't time my weakest point? She's overly sensitive and Ain't I coldhearted? Most importantly, she has an ever present ex in her life. So that is a big No, Never, Nunca in my vocabulary. In many ways she's like G, and I was amazed to discover that I have the inclination to associate myself to pyschologically and emotionally challenged people(so what does that make me?).
We talk everyday and looks forward to our intellectual battles. We challenge our brains and play with words. I find it ironic that not too long ago-- I dont care about her existence. Of date, I wanted more and more of her. There are even times when I feel that green little monster budding into life. I try to ignore it but reality is P is becoming a part of my daily life. And it has to stop. Because otherwise, I will just open myself to demands that I cannot meet, frustration and confusion. I have to control my emotions now. I will not fall for her. I could not. I will not.
Labels: just venting out, moments
posted by jaded fool @ 3:04 PM
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