Thursday, March 15, 2012

conquering north



After my trip to ROII I was asked to go to ROI to be a resource speaker. So I once again packed my bags and headed north. I went to la union and stayed overnight. After my lectures, I decided to give Baguio a visit. It's been a long time since I was in the city of pines. Stayed somewhere near burnham park so I can immediately raid the market when daytime comes. It was raining in Baguio and I had a flashback of that hotel, of session road and the cool weather I have come to love so much.

Time had passed by yet I remember it too vividly. It was also raining when I made the decision that changed my life. It was 4 years ago and I felt the need to ponder on and ask myself for forgiveness.. For being the meanie that I was, for being so confused.. For my impulsiveness. I have to forgive myself and accept the road that I had chosen for myself. And I should own responsibility to accept that event changed us. It changed me, it changed G, P and the world we live in. It is unfair to expect that I can have what I had in the past. Change is the only permanent thing in this world. To yearn for something from my past is wrong and selfish. Especially if commitment has already been promised to someone else. Time to accept that now.

As I walk pass mcdonalds, I remembered everything too well. The confusion, the pain and the need to an easy way out. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and With a deep sigh I hailed a cab and headed to the place I was staying in.

I have to forgive myself for that night in Baguio. Nobody has the right to hurt someone. I am not proud ive hurt someone along the way. In fact, it was one of the hardest thing a person could do.. To make a choice. To choose knowing someone will surely get hurt. I dont have the right to hurt anybody. For that, I am sorry.

Hopefully next time when I visit, Baguio will have a new meaning in my life. BAGUIO would mean warm embraces, hot kisses, fiery love, warmth, passion and vibrant colors. Just like the way it was supposed to be. :)

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posted by jaded fool @ 11:33 PM