rants and ramblings

fear

Fear is something that I don't really want to feel. It's something that I don't need right now. And last night, while I was on my way home-- I realized how much I fear the fact of failing. I was thinking of the consequences, I was thinking of possibilities… And now, there's a tint of doubt in my mind. I doubt the statements that I have again and again reiterated in my past entries. Suddenly, last night I was not sure if my parents, family and friends would still love me if ever I fail the bar. Would they still believe in me? Also last night-- I realized that the BAR is not a battle against anybody-- it's a battle against myself. I do want to bring honor to my family and friends so much. I want them to be proud of me… I badly want them to be proud of me.

This fight is a battle I have to face alone. I can only depend on myself--- I'm doing my best.. Even though I know that in the eyes of the other people-- I may seem to be taking it easy…but My brain cells are drained everyday-- I'm mentally worn out. The thought of bar and the pressure they put on me-- are really wearing me out.

3 months before the bar… I'm still unprepared to face the battle. The Mental and physical battle is coming too soon.… I do hope that whatever happens to me and whatever the result of the bar is-- I just hope that I would be able to humbly accept that fact and be able to live once again a normal life.

r.e.t.r.o.s.p.e.c.t.

I was reading the newspaper and i come across some ads about the upcoming mini concert of one of our favorite bands.. RETROSPECT. They got a site now! yahooo!! did i check it? YOU BET! hehehhe!!! The site got the profile of all the members!! haaaaaay!! And now, i even know the name of my frigging crush!! bwahahhaha!! Ogie!! Darn man!!! Can i keep you in my pocket? Even for a week! hehehe!! I would take care of you promise!! darn..

nothing...

I've been home all week.. and i didn't touch a page of any of my books or materials. I think my braincells had their share of rest.. (personally, a week of idleness is too much) and they are now ready to do another battle!! haaay!!

Last night was Diane's thanksgiving party.. i attended it together with ailes. Rox was there with her Bf Papa Rodge, Karen and her Bf, Randy.. Edna.. et. al.. there was a huge crowd mostly came from the church. Haaaay!! i was so tired last night.. =(

and it's been weeks since i had a nice entry!! Now.. I don't think I'll be able to write that well.. (yeah right...)

Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

yahoo!

Happy Mother's day to all Mommies!! specially to my NANAY! But of course!! Uhmm, we went out for some lunch.. the whole family that is .. and then we shopped.. and then headed back home where some of relatives are having a li'l get together.. hehehe!! :) labyu nanay! thank you for taking care of us..

I forgot to mention that my roommate is moving out! yahooooo!! I got the room all by myself!! I can do a lot of things now without unknown people looking!! darn.. uhmmmm in fairness, she is nice! but that's it... and that;s all i can say about her! Uhmm.. I'm just happy that there would be no more distraction in the room!! (The TV is gone!) all I can is.. YAHOO! Bwahahhaha!! I can study now.. i hope...

labor relations

Today… our review in Labor Relations ended. And honestly.. I'm going to miss Atty. Josephus Jimenez. He's really nice and really good.. Academically speaking. He always makes us laugh and never fails to remind us to pray, pray and pray… I do know and I'm quite aware that prayers work.. But then.. I have been really really bad lately that I don't know if god would still listen to my prayers. I'm lucky to have my parents who are very supportive of me. And also mama Jane who never fails to let me know that she is there.

I have met my cousins Cecil and len today, we had some dinner and talked about Cecil's upcoming debut.. One of these days, I'm going to tell you the details.. I'm really tired. Hope that all this will end soon.

Attorney Josephus Jimenez writes for the Inquirer.. And he told us that each day as we wake up.. we should not tell ourselves.."god.. bar na!! Syet!!" instead.. we should tell ourselves.."A few days more and I'M GOING TO BE A LAWYER SOON!" Confidence, discipline.. Serenity.. Peace of mind.. Concentration.

Next time.. i wish my entry would be something with more sense in it! hehehe!! *winks*

dry run

Awhile ago, my sister and I had a dry run.. heheh.. She read to me cases and asked me the question stated therein.. Haaay.. I got the correct answers alright but then the problem lies in the fact that my "verbal" presentation really sucks!! I mean, I keep on saying.."ahmm" cause I'm thinking of the laws and the proper presentation. Whereas in writing.. I can express myself like a dignified person. (hehehe) Anyway, practice makes perfect aight? I got to check on my basis too. Got to have them handy. I had fun.. And I told my sister that we should do it more often… I learned a lot and I was able to think really quickly. It helps my brain.. =)

Maybe I can ask her to copy questions that I can answer I'm here at home. That would really help.. What do you think? I find it hard to study here at home.. Cause there are things to do like.. uhmm.. Writing.. Emailing.. Singing.. Cooking.. And singing again… playing Snood.. Playing Snood some more. Hehe! I'll be back to the dorm tomorrow… and back to that dungeon called UST. Hehehe! They're going to drain me of my brain cells again. Intellectually tiring.. and so darn stressful… Haaaay.. Got to go to bed, kulasisi.. See you when I see you! *Winks*

love and male bashing..

As I have said in my previous entry.. We had an emergency meeting. Somebody got brokenhearted tonight..(Not me silly!!) Hmmm.. male bashing is one thing that I love to do. Not that I hate men.. Well.. I hate certain breed of men.. And I think you already know why.. We talked about the L word… how it can really be a cause of shitty feeling. Hmmm.. Love is really weird.. It makes you cry, you still long for it… it gives you pain, you yearn for it.. It makes you do crazy things, yet you are still willing to do it over and over again.

Men can be really insensitive.. Are we such an unlucky brood that we meet these kind of men!? Dealing with them once in a lifetime is enough.. But dealing with them every month?! Quarterly? Darn.. It's a curse. Men can do cruel things.. But I think to ignore someone is the worst thing one can do! I mean.. Women can ignore men… but for men to ignore women!? EXCUSE ME! It is just not done.. Specially to women who are open to confrontation.. (Like us!!) Do these men just expect the women to brush off her self of all his smell and move on without ever knowing what the hell happened? Why can't they say it right then and there that they QUIT.. Ignoring someone is not gentlemanly. It is bad bad bad!! Don't do it to anyone.. (Yeah especially to a friend of mine!) Men now a days.. Doesn't have the balls to say what they want , say what they mean and mean what they say. I can't even understand why one keeps on loving even the most undeserving creature..

Oh yeah.. Judy got this rules which I think might backfire.. 1. You don't do it on the first date. -- "it" as in IT? or other stuff? Oh well.. I was not able to clarify those things. 2. Don't do it without love. -- if you're not going to do it without love.. Do it with minimal attraction.. Or if you can still do it without both.-- just ask for a fee. Anyway, my brain is tired… my body is tired… I need to have my rest. Ciao, kulasisi..

4 months to go before the BAR… God help me.

haaaaaaayy

I know i shouldn't be here.. but then I'm waiting for my friends to arrive.. yep yep we're going to have an emergency meeting and it involves...well.. love. hehehe..what else is new? We'll talk it out over a cup of coffee.. i do hope that things will work out fine.. anyway, i got to go.. talk to u bout the details later, aight? c yah...