Monday, September 15, 2008

'nay kupu..




i've been missing my nanay lately... there are times that i still forget that she's gone. sometimes i find myself anticipating going home cause i know she'd be amazed of my stories.. she doesn't get tired of my stories. she would always listen to them in awe as if its the best thing that she's had all day.

i've been longing to tell her of the things that had happened to me. i want to tell her about how frustrated i am at work.. i want to tell her stories about the people that i meet.. the people that i've come to love and hate.

I want to understand life through her stories.. i want to just be there and listen to her tell me that my time will come and life will be actually better.

I want her to be here.

I know she's always with me... i know she's guiding and protecting me.. but it is still different to have her physically.. it's different to come home to Nanay.. to have her hug me and kiss me.

I miss you nay..

Labels: , ,

posted by jaded fool @ 7:45 PM  

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

time capsule



P let me read her old letters.. the one that she had written and the ones that she had received. In those letters, I witnessed how much she had loved and lost. sucks to get hurt.. pain is argh.. and sometimes, whenever i am in pain-- i wish i was dead.

and today.. I browsed my mails and checked on G's folder. I know what you're going to say--but hey, it's my time capsule. I think I have the right to reminisce. The letters are my silent witnesses to the love that I once had. It reminded me how we used to be... how everything started.... and where everything led. I remembered how sweet she was -- i remembered how reluctant I was to take the plunge... I remembered being scared.

I don't know what got into me-- I just found myself reading our old mails. the ones that came from G and the ones that I sent her. We were happy. Our happiness seemed so endless.. We had a lot of good times too.. we play a lot.. we laugh a lot.. we were each other's best friend. I know her in and out (and I mean that literally)... then we started hurting each other... we hurt each other until we lost it...

Until that moment that she left me with no choice but to let go.

Labels: , ,

posted by jaded fool @ 8:04 PM