rants and ramblings

It's gloomy today.. but that will not stop me from going out. I'm going out on a date with my bestfriend. We would dance the night away! =)
*sigh* hope that by the end of the week---- everything will be fine.(* socially speaking of course) This is week is great academically speaking... i'm enjoying my time in school having chitchat with my classmates and getting to know most of them . Socially, this week suck. i miss my ex-pare. damn. *grrrrr* haaay..

*** Now talking in #ksa-girls
>Topic ( i LoVe My GiRL FrieND anD ShE LoVe Me 2 But CaN You TeLL Me WHaT NeXT i DuNNo You HaVe To FinD YouR SeLF iN YouR SeLF That What EvERy Body SaiD aFTeR BrokiNg But ... You WiLL FinD The LoVe iN The Hi Way anD You WiLL SaiD aGiaN CoMe BacK i NeeD You PLzZz >>> ;()
*** Set by AnAcOnDa-83 on Tue Feb 27 03:03:34

----> naligaw ako sa channel na to kasi andito yung ka-chat ni ate... and that is the topic. tsk tsk! MALUPET TALAGA ANG IRC.... di ko alam kung ano gusto nyang palabasin pero at least....english. hehehe!

This day is unsual.(*I'm talking about monday--Feb. 26 '01) Academically speaking.... the day is great. I mean we don't have a class in Conflict of Laws...and we had a party--- it's our dean's birthday. I laugh a lot. Then on my second class we didn't have recitation. My professor talked about the EDSA thing again-- the validity of the GMA's presidency. There has been news that the Supreme Court has already voted in favor of ERAP. So where does that leave us? Chaos is in the air.

A funny incident on my way home-- why is that Erap's supporters are staying in front of the Post Office?? They are picketing there with banners and streamers. Don't they know that It's not the Supreme Court? Who will give justice to Erap there?-- the POSTMASTER? oh well... they have their reasons.

Socially speaking, this is day is SHITTY. My friends are having tantrums. =( i feel so damn terrible. I have lost my pare... *sniff* i have this friend over the net-- and we would call each other "pare". We had shared a lot of secrets... and laughs.... and jokes.... *sniff* he told me tonight "Can you really trust someone who just stay in the net like you know, hanggang net lang.. genon". I answered " kasi No show ako?" he replied "yeah" He doesn't understand---- he always would tell me that "it's ok pare, i understand you.." but in the end-- di ren pala. My ate told me-- siguro lahat ng atraso mo nagkapatong patong na." I guess ate is right---- come to think of it, dami ko ngang atraso kay pre ko.... ay di na pala pre. *sniff* It's a terrible feeling -- this feeling that i have now. It's like as if someone died.... and i guess in a way someone did. I just don't know if it would ever be reincarnated. =( The pressure is on me--- but how can i show up when i know that someone holds a grudge against me and it's our first time to meet?!? I've never been in situation like that before nor do i have a plan to be in one. I can tell that it's going to be ackward. =( at least now i know that his badmood originates from me.. and that he doesn't have a problem at all because it is now clear that he is indeed mad at me. Maybe it's better this way. It has to be.

My other friend is Jane-- my bestfriend. =( She is mad at me for not meeting her last week. And i told her that i might not be able to meet her again this wednesday because i have to attend to a meeting on Fri.. and she replied "Cge! ang ganda mo! Unahin mo ang ibang tao kesa sa akin!....grrrrr!" -- I can only go out once a week. I have to make a decision.... which one is more important?! they are both important. But not more important than my sick sister. My ate told me awhile ago Di mo ko love, kita mong me sakit ako-- lakwatsa ka ng lakwatsa...." =( What am i to do? It's a petty thing i know... but i don't want to hurt people. That's what i hate about me--- i'm a damn pleaser. I don't want people to get mad at me. But time will come that you just don't have any choice-- you just have to let them down. Then they will get mad at me for turning them down-- *sigh* I can't remember the last time i felt this bad. I think i'm goin' to bed now, i'm tired of all these.

baby can you love me? love me? cause i need to feel your love.... --INOJ "need to feel your love"
malufet! nyehahahhahaha!!

It’s the 15th year anniversary of EDSA I yesterday … and I don’t care. The government is at it again--- making fool of the people. The candidates are everywhere---- the TV, Radio, posters, electric and telephone posts. I can see too much of them, and its making me hate the government once more. The so-called actors and actresses are into politics—damn! What is this? A Film Festival?? And they keep on promising to this and do that, improve this and improve that--- yada-yada-yada! We have tons of actors in the government service—THE PEOPLE DON’T NEED MORE OF THEM IN THE GOVERNMENT SERVICE. What if I don’t exercise my right to suffrage? What if on Election Day--- I cast a BLANK VOTE? I want to get out of here… I hate the present ruler—I hate the system!!

On a lighter note--- it’s my niece’s birthday next week! Yey! She’s going to be 3 yrs. old! =) We ordered a birthday cake for her yesterday.. so we drove around to look for a bakeshop. It’s not going to be a big party, just a family affair. In fact it’s going to be usual Sunday except that there are balloons and cake. =) And here I thought that I would not be able to write something…. Hehehe!

My cousin lend me a game- Starcraft. It’s what john and nel are playing over the net. I tried figuring out how to play it. I was able to operate it but after a while I stop playing, It just so boring playing alone. I like to play with a group.. Or at least with some other human form.

(*me topak na naman ang blogger kahapon.... *sigh* .. para yung friend ko.... me topak ren! it seems that everybody is getting mad at me.... =( its a terrible feeling... )

My ate is sick =( … I can see that she is really suffering from backpains. When she is sittin’ down, she can’t stand up. She really is in pain. I do hope that she’ll get well soon. I have been a good girl today, almost at least. I seldom let this side of me out. I just want to make the people around me happy today. =) Tiring but fulfilling. If only I can be like this for the rest of my life, everybody will be happy. (*yeah right) *nyti-nyt kiddo* *muah* *hugs*

Dir Kumag,

du yu mess me wans en awayl? du yu mes mi? du yu? .... i mess yu.

labslabs,
purita

I’m Homeeeeee! I didn’t go out… I just got home from school. Damn traffic made my butt hurt! Yesterday, I asked permission that I would stay overnight at Jane’s house., I was allowed to go. And when I woke up this morning--- my sister told me that I was not allowed to go out! I have set my mind on going out! Better luck next time I guess. Anyway, the exam was terrible.. It’s composed of 15 questions with subquestions! We were given 2 hours to finish it. I’m not sure if what I have written have sense or what—I just want to finish the exam and go home. That exam gave me a headache!

My sister from the sorority lost her cellphone- she’s acting as if everything is ok… and that the phone doesn’t really matter. I know otherwise, not too long ago—I have lost my cell too. I’ m not sure if it was stolen or if I dropped it somewhere. It has been my fondest wish to get rid of the unit (*yeah, I want to get rid of it but not in that way…. And not that abrupt, I was caught unaware—damn) when I discovered that I lost it---- I acted as if my dream came true—that finally my prayers were answered… but sometimes I find myself missing my old phone, the unaligned antenna and it’s plain black color… (*Alcatel unit) specially if I can’t get a clear signal. I miss my old number too. Anyway, I have a new phone now and a new number---- just like the first one, it was given to me by my ate. I don't have any plans of losing it-- they have to get it over my not so gorgeous dead body. got to get some rest, my butt still hurts! waaaaaaaa! *yawns*

I woke up in a good mood! yey! =) Not even the rain can change that, no matter how much I hate it! Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have a class today and the fact that I actually feel happy! Well, aside from the incident that I almost collided with a tricycle when I brought my sister to the office and the fact that I have encountered some dumb drivers along the way, Everything is fine! Hehehe! It’s not that I’m a good driver, it’s just that there are really drivers who don’t know road courtesies! They thought that because I’m a lady driver they could get away with their stupidity. Talking about male ego! It’s scary sharing the road with these ignoramuses. They are one hell of a driver—LITERALLY.( In tagalog---- Demonyong Driver! *mali pa translation* ehehehe! )

ako: me isang lalaki, di mo kilala---- binigyan ka ng candy…
ano sasabihin mo sa kanya?
kyle: sabihin ko "Thank you"
ako: ano kukuhanin mo paglaki mo kyle?
kyle: asawa.
ako: di ibig kong sabihin.. gusto mo bang maging duktor , titser…
kyle: duktor, para gagamutin ko ikaw.
ako: gagamutin mo ko? wow naman….. libre ba yun o me bayad?
kyle: me bayad.
ako: pero tita mo ako, dapat libre
kyle: kahit na tita, nigamot kita e.. me bayad.

A 3 year old child made me feel good today. It's a refreshing experience. Getting simple uncomplicated answers. This is the way life should be.... simple...refreshing and uncomplicated.

ok fine.. so what if he doesn't want to talk to me?! he doesn't care anyway... *sigh* Damnation to hell. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!



there's a thin line between love and hate. and hate is not the other side of love, it's selfishness. selfishness is the other side of the coin.

i got stucked in traffic.. it's bullshit! i left manila at 9:45 and got home at 1:15... isn't that a nice??? what a day ender! I don’t have any classes today. But I need to study for my midterms in Tax Law Review. Right now, I don’t actually feel like studying…. I just want to laze around and enjoy the weather. I got the result of my exam in Administrative Law—I passed. I just want to get over school and LIVE.

I wanna get drunk!!! damn! where are my drinking buddies when i need them?! damn! After my Exam, I'm going to get drunk! yey! yey! yeeeeeeey!

How does that song goes??? talking to my self and feeling old.... sometimes i'd like to quit... blahblah seems to fit.. walking around somekind of lonely clown... rainy days and mondays always get me down.... blah blah blaaaaah! *sigh* IT'S A MONDAY AGAIN!! Whew! this is going to be a long longgggg day for me! And to make it worse It's raining. If only i can absent myself up to the end of the term! I hate the frigging subject!! Conflict of Laws SUCK! It's so damn confusing!!! I hate the way my life is going.

Last thursday, while i was in my review class.... for the first time this term ... i had felt that i was actually listening to the discussion. I actually understand what the professor was saying. It's a nice feeling...... it's been a long time since i felt that way. I felt so damn good. Wish i could say the same to my other subjects. Maybe if i have stayed in my old school.... i'm already graduating this march but time and again, maybe not. *Sigh*

Sometimes it's better to act dumb . At least people doesn't mind explaining things to you--repeatedly. That's it... hopefully something "beautiful" will happen to me , so i can retract all the negative vibes of this damn entry! prffffft!

Somehow i managed to make my saturday not ordinary. I left for school at midday, hoping to get there on time which was impossible. I'm quite aware that i won't be able to make it so I took the long way to school (*weird huh?)... and Viola! I AM LATE! So what? i managed to smile at the professor and greeted him good day. I took my sit and started to daydream. What's the topic today at class??? aaaah.... authority of the counsel. I really didn't listen to the discussion but i laugh everytime my professor tells a joke. I laugh and then starts to daydream again.I was physically present inside the classroom but my mind wandered off .. i've thought of my childhood friends and the things that i used to do, the things thats happening to me now and the things that the future holds for me. Damn, i wish that they made daydreaming a job-- i'm really good at it.

The weather is great .... not too warm and not too cold. I personally think that it's gloomy. yeah.. that's it gloomy.. sad skies. I have enjoyed the weather very much. But i missed the sun today.

And at this hour, our neighbor is still singing their lungs out! Damn! So there's a celebration, so what? they've been celebrating whole day! Don't they know that people have to rest too? When i woke up this morning~~ they're already startin' to make that damn noise! How many times do i have to listen to "My Love Will See You Through"? How many times do i have to hear "Dancing Queen"? The damn "Impossible Dream" is making it damn impossible for me to sleep! If i want to listen to "music" -- i would have turned on my radio. People can be damn inconsiderate... *sigh* here's to you trying hard singers: F*ck Yah All!!

I wonder what this day holds for me... would it be a good day,a bad one, or same day like the rest? I do hope that this is a good day for i awfully feel so damn bad. I find it funny.... i usually don't have mood swings but then.... there's always a first time.

I'm feeling weird today..It's like my head is hitting against a brick wall (* or is it my heart?) .I want to get through but i'm just too damn stubborn to jump overboard. I want to get through it by crashing the damn wall. It's a challenge and it hurts.So far the wall is still fully intact.... still strong whereas i, i'm beginning to lose hope. My head is hurting.... I'll never get through... I feel so emotionally stressed out and confused. TIME FOR A BREAK Maybe i need to see a movie or read a book. Reading is good.. i think i'm going to read.Read something that would make me cry. Something that has a sad ending. Something that talks about death, tragedies, and ironies. That's what life is all about anyway.

~~with music softly playing, his lips were gently saying..."Honey, i love you". He held me in desperation, i thought it was a revelation and then he walked out... To be fooled is a hurting pain. To be Loved and Fooled is a crying shame~~

Naks.... new look ang blogs ko! Buti na lang me neil ako.... simply beautiful =)

I am blessed to have a sister like my ate tina. She' s so cool and she LOVES me! yey! yey! She asked me why her name is not mentioned here... and i answered her... "E akin kaya yun? Syempre it's all about me!" We share a room and same bed. I don't think it's possible that i won't be mentioning her here... since our lives are entwined and she pays for the internet services! heheehehe!! We have been staying together for quite sometime now.(* tagal ko na palang me ka-live in) She is the favorite of my titas and titos (*specially the father side). They all think she is nice and sweet and all that stuff. Whereas I, i'm the "maldita" in the family. (Kelan pa kaya naging maldita ang pagiging prangka?! --- sheeeeps!) Whatever i asked of her, she gives me. Sometimes , if i need something, i'd rather go to her than to my nanay because she is easy to talk to. No hassles (* as long as she can give it). Same thing with nanay she would freak out first but later would give in to my request. hehehe! (* with the use of my exotic charm). Whatever i need , i get to have. Like i need to reload my cell... a new blouse...... siopao.... Zagu... i would ask them for it and somehow, one way or another i get to get them. I AM A BRaT.

In defense , I didn't get to have those things for free..... I have to work for them ( * used to ) Now, i just kept on promising my ate and recite all that the things that she wants to hear. Hehehe! I seldom say to my family how much i love them and how much i value them. I'm not good at saying mushy things. I have forgotten the last time i thanked them for simply being my family. For loving me despite my imperfections. For coming to my rescue everytime I'm in trouble . For Giving me a Happy , secured HoMe. haaaaay... labyu tatay, nanay, ate tina, kuya jon-jon, ate vivian and the new brat: kyle.

I had the weirdest dream ever.. some kind of adventure fantasy..... Ariel ( little mermaid) was there ,we were swimming ... and it's the end of the world. hahaha! Nagdasal naman ako (*ata) before going to sleep.. wonder what it means...

HaFi BAlenTAyms DAy

( Final Episode )

Ok... so this what happened to me yesterday -- academically speaking the day was a disaster... i don't want to elaborate on it.

On my way to school... i noticed that valentine's really not in the air. Politics is.. since all the political posters and ads are already pasted everywhere. I think I'm not going to vote for those people. And valentine's is not a celebrated event here in the Philippines even if it is called a holiday, why then all these politicians have their faces printed on posters and banners with a Valentine message?! It's really pathetic. They are real traditional politicians.FLowers are everywhere! That's why its so damn traffic in Dimasalang People are getting ready for the Hearts Day.. It's a sad realization though that we need a day like V day to acknowledge the presence of loved ones. Why can't we do it during ordinary days? Giving someone flowers or chocolates--JUST BECAUSE! Just because you love him, just because you treasure him... just because you are a part of his life.. No celebrations, no holidays... Isn't that much better? *wipe away the tears* (hehehehe!) And then the school thing happened..... good thing my bestfriend asked me for a date! We met in SM Manila... then had our dinner. Then we proceeded to Malate. In Malate, we didn't like the persons performing in our usual hang out so we looked for another place. We were able to find one , got in.. took our sits and ordered our first drink. Only one band is performing last night.. they did their first set and it was fine although we didn't know some of the songs that they were singing. The kind of music that they play is jazzy so it's really not a dance song. Then they did their 2nd set-- and it's still the same. *sigh* Finally.... it's the 3rd set, and here i thought i can dance the night away, But i was wrong! They kept on singing their own stuff! Aaaaarghhhh!! It was like an album launching! God is punishing me last night!!

But it was nice to be with friends again. Talking about same stuff over and over and over and over again.... hehehe! The things that we did in College... the Gigs that we had! Talking about the same person we both hate and people that we love. Talking about Family, Love and Life. We simply enjoy each others company... maybe that's why we are Bestfriends! =)

And on this day, people have greeted me and i greeted them as well. Went home at 12:30 pm. Went online and there goes my Valentine Celebration....


Connie, happy valentine's day dearie....

balentaym Blogs

( part II na..)
"Many of us stayed walled because we are afraid that if we care too much the other person wouldn't care as much as we do or not at all."

-- Is missing equal to loving? Is it required to say ILOVEYOU often? Questions that i cannot answer on my own. I love the thought of loving, but somehow in someways.... the thought of it is just not enough... I don't know if i have a point or if my blog today has a direction to speak of. It's just that i find myself missing something ( i'm not sure what)and missing someone.

-Valentine's Day is a holiday where people honor friendship, affection, and love for people. Valentine's Day is named after Saint Valentine, the patron saint of lovers and is celebrated on February 14th- (*eyngs??)
Valentine's day
--site that talk about valentine stuff... history, recipes (*recipes??? -- nyehahhaa!-- ay mali ibang site pala yun ahahaha! stupid me. ), Gifts, and legends... etc etc...
this is the site that has recipes --> Athena

balentaym blogs

(*part I ata....)
"I love you without knowing how or when or where, I love you straight forwardly without complexities or pride, I love you because I KNOW NO OTHER WAY THAN THIS."

--so yun na.. kadaming ay lab yu... kaya dapat lab mi ren. ahehehehe!

-- Buti na lang wala akong pasok sa wednesday. I can enclose myself in silence and peace of my room. What are my plans for the V day???? WALA I don't think I'll be going out on the 14th... ~~ KADIRE AH! i mean there are 365 days in a year! I really don't understand it. God knows how much i want to understand what's so special about this day.... i just can't.

"Don't be afraid to fall in love for love can give you wings...Don't be afraid to fall when it's nice to fly...."

-- Is this true? How come i am scared now? *sigh*

what difference a day makes!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! damn! damn! damn!

Feng Shui

SNAKE

Phew! A better year then the last. For those born in
the year 1977, despite frequent obstacles in most
endeavours, you can reach a new peak if you work
hard without slacking and be flexible in accepting new
situations. This is not the right time to change jobs or
pursue new careers. Be careful not to overspend or you
may incur losses. You may also be under a lot of
pressure. -- a better year for me? WOW! hahaha! yeah right!

ahehe.... correction your honor--- One month na pla akong nagba-blogs! =)~~ Congratulations to moi! yey! yey! i made it to one month! aba! napakamemorable pala ng 9 sa akin..... ahehehehe! la la la la la laaaaa means i love you... *muah*

Somebody told me that my blogs are too long… instead of getting mad or hurt, I was actually glad that he find it long. For 2 reasons:
1. It means that I am improving in making sentences…. Lol… I can actually make a paragraph with a sense!
2. It means that he won’t read it for its LOOooooooooooNNNNNG…

I’m a month old in making blogs (well almost anyway..) I used to have diaries when I was still a little girl. But too bad, at a certain time in my life, I have believed that diaries are taboo! So corny and all… So I burn them. It was a mistake. Now, I can’t remember what I have written then, how ugly my penmanship was (still is!! ), what they were all about. *sigh* now... i can only wish... and try to remember.

Dir Kumag,

Sa wakas.....

nagmamahal,
purita

ps: labs mi, labs mi nat, labs mi? labs me nat.... labs mi?!? labs miiiiiiiiiiiii!! nyehahahaha........ (sounds like a commercial ahhh.... kunsabagay.... ahehehehe!)

Dir Kumag,
_ --- _ !!!

nagmamahal,
purita

Someone asked me if Valentine's day is for lovers only..... i vehemently answered "No, it's for those people that doesn't have GF's, BF's, Husband's and Wives..... this the chance for those who are alone to finally feel out of place..... to finally feel that they don't have someone". Am i correct or am i correct? This is the time of year where the love that you get from your parents are not enough.... the love that you have from your friends are not enough. Feb 14 is celebrated by lovers ( there's no such thing as ONE MAN VALENTINE, OK? ) WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE ALONE? Do they get to celebrate happy hearts day too? Valentine's day is discriminating don't u think? Maybe it's time to erase Valentine's day from the calendar-- first and foremost, it's not a HOLIDAY! People has to work and school is not suspended. Second, It causes traffic-- specially in the malls and other secluded places. Third, Flowers cost so much!!! Fourth, Many people are wearing RED! Fifth, after 9 months.... the population will double. So these are sensible reasons why Valentine's day should be striked out from the calendar! What hell am i saying? Oh well.. go ahead and celebrate it, what do i care? ( *conscience: you are just sourgraping hahahaha! *me: Shut UP! )

Finally, I got the chance to experience how it is to apply for work. After 4 years, i finally had the nerve to look for a job. I don't know if I'll be able to get the position..... but I am praying that i will. I really need that job. I want it so bad.

I was still up when my parents took off for the provinces to attend the wake of my grandpa. He's not my grandpa, grandpa..
he was the brother of my lola. My real Lolos are
dead, from both side of the family. I was 20 years old when i lost my lolo on the father side and 21 when my lolo
on the mother side passed away. It seems now that i can't really remember how i felt during that time.
All i know is that sometimes when i see familiar things or people that looks like them, i miss them.
But that's it. I miss them. No more longing that they are alive. It seems that i can be really coldhearted..but i would
lie to myself if i say otherwise. Have i moved on? I guess i did. Did i cry publicly? i have to... not because of what i feel
but because everybody else is crying. I got this feeling that if i don't cry people will tend to criticize me.. and i hate criticisms.. so i cried eventhough i don't feel like crying.
But i did cry alone in my room..nobody knew about it. What's the point of letting people see you cry? It's better to cry alone
you don't care how you look like.... you don't care how red your nose is or how messed up your face is.. hehehe! So here iam... still on the net, despite the death in the family. I can never be like
others.. who wallow in their sorrow. I can move on when i want to.... but i can wallow if i do want too. Maybe someday.... i'll understand why I'm like this . In the meantime i believe that death is the ultimate release for them and for me as well.

good morning..... i think my mind is a little off track today.... ahehehe! i've been reading a lot *sigh* i really don't have anything to say except that i wish that my day will turn out fine... i'm afraid this is one of those days... Finally, i'm going to apply for a job in the school i'm enrolled in. I do hope and pray ( err Pray???!!!!!... ok, pray then....) that i'll be able to get a slot. I'm applying for the position of Professor ( uhmmm... teacher in layman's term) or an encoder/clerk..... I think i like the encoder job better... less pressure. I can study still during examanations. i'm crossing my fingers.... if ever i would get this job.... i would..nah--- that would be planning too soon.. it's like counting the chicks even before they got hatched. Ladyluck would you smile on me??????????? i can only hope.

yes! me Update ang Bobongpinoy!! new look pa! ahehehe!!! let's see if we meet eye to eye!! ahehee!! mukhang masaya sa edsa ah! hehehe!! hmmmm..... puyatan na naman to! ang saya!!

I'd rather know if you had turn the page if you go faster that i do.... suddenly it's not so clear just what I am to you.... am i friend? am i lover ? do we still need each other? ...... Can I be charged of plagarism here? I don't think so.... i'm just singing using the keyboard that's all... What is the title of this friggin' song anyway? aaaah yes.... what do we mean to each other! damn i'm good! hahahaa!! *sigh* what's so good about remembering a title of a song?!? ( I Don't Know! )
It's a monday again..... how i hate mondays!! First and foremost,i have to attend 2 classes tonight.. Second, the last subject will end at 9:30.... and lastly, the first class confuses me! what song is that? ~~talking to myself and feeling old.... sometimes i'd like to quit... nothing ever seems to fit.... walking around, nothing to do but frown..rainy days and mondays always get me down...~~ *sigh* Life can be real bitchy sometimes.... just when you thought that everything is going smoothly.. Fate will slap you to wake you up and face reality. It's like, "Hey wake up stupid!! Stop Dreamin' you f*cking dreamer!" kinda thing, you haven't started to have fun and enjoy what you have--- and here comes Reality....on his way back towards u.. dang! How i wish i have enjoyed more what i had then .... enjoy what i have now and the things that i will have. How i wish life stops at being a kid.... life then is all about playing... and having fun. Life then is simple.. well for me at least. Life then is all about being a kid. And people doesn't mind you to act as a kid.. for that is what you are-- a kid. Analyzing myself.... i want 50% of my life as a kid, 25% as an adolescent and 25% as an adult.... yeah that's what i want. i want my childhood back.

Dir Kumag,
?????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????!!!
?????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????
??????????????????....
?????????????????????????????????

lubos na nagmamahal,
purita

ps: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really don't know why i should feel like this..... could it be that i'm having depression attack? dang! i feel like shouting and throwing things... but wait! that is very unlike me..... maybe i should lie down and sleep it off... the great escaper is at work again. Correct! i'll do that.... i'll sleep then when i wake up... everything will be fine (*i do hope so) *sigh*

Topliners in law school
1. Nag-aral ka na? (*which is often answered by: "p*ta di pa nga e!".. o "medyo, nagbasa lang ng konti"... but then when they are called for recitation they can recite the law VERBATIM-- either good or a real hypocrite.)
2.Sana wala si sir/ma'm (*for obvious reason that they are not prepared. But God can be cruel sometimes... so, the professors have to arrive and attend class.)
3.Sana di ako matawag (* this is the time when you keep on promising yourself that next meeting you'll be prepared , time to repent on all your mischief and all.. But time and again.... God can be really busy or he has put you on his ignore list for breaking your promises and doing evil stuff)
4.Sir/ma'm pass..(*sometimes said with a smile--- this is what you call, a KODAK MOMENT, the professor would then tell you.. "Why should you pass? you haven't answered the question!!! You should FAIL!!!)

--yes, i have done all of the above... not once.... but everyday of my life as a freaking law student!! So i had my share of kodak moments... so what? All law students go through that. In law school, you got to have a thick face. Strong self confidence for the law professor has set their minds that THE STUDENTS DONT BELONG IN THE LAW PROFESSION... it's much better for them to go home and plant kamote. At the start of the class, all of the students have failing remarks... it is up to you to redeem yourself----It is also but natural to flunk a subject or two -- it's natural they say.... but the pain is still the same.. who cares if its natural? YOU FLUNKED! You have to repeat the damn subject .. and sometimes those professors who has the nerve to flunk doesn't even know how to TEACH! They were just lucky that they are ahead of me, but then .. they will have a family... children and grandchildren.....Our path shall cross one way or the other.... sabi nga "Lintek lang ang walang Ganti!" hahahaha! Enough ranting about my forsaken life in law school. Think i'm going back to bed now..

I bought a Book (technically speaking) entitled: The Best of YoungBlood-- Youngblood is a column in The Philippine Daily Inquirer.. It deals with the opinions and outlook of the youth today... the so-called Generation X. I must say it's a good buy..... for the thoughts matches what i feel.... the opinions towards life, love, work, ideology.... they are all there. The thoughts that crossed my mind, the thoughts that i can't well described in words. That Book is just a proof that the youth today are not just party animals... they got good sense too. Well most of us anyway....

--is it ok to act ok even if you are in fact not ok? (...wokey)

The Government service sucks! shet! shet! sheeeeeeeeeeeeet! i went to DFA yesterday..... to get my passport... (i dunno why i need a passport in the first place since i'm not going anywhere). It's an awful experience, it was a nightmare! I waited for 5 hours to get a damn booklet! The system suck... the people in the government suck! but hey.... wait a minute.... Who am i to judge the f*cking government????? i don't pay taxes (income that is) , i sell my vote....i really don't care much about the Government (except that time in EDSA) hahaha! ........ so in the end i only got me to blame! dang! err.... well at least i have my passport now.... and when it expire, i'm going to a travel agency and let them process it for i will never undergo that same experience. It's the kind of experience that will last you a LIFETIME.

--This f*ck*ng passport must be used or else the trauma that i had is not worth it... well i have 5 years... who knows? i want to go to TIMBUKTU, wherever that is.....

ISN'T IT AWFUL TO BE WRONG WHEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT?? p***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--Someone told me that the sun will blow up in 5 billion years.. it will hit earth and consequently kill all the people in it. Buti na lang patay na ako nun...

My Bestfriend and her husband celebrated their 4th wedding anniversary 2 days ago. I'm so happy for them I do hope that they will be blessed with a child, now that would make them happier. =) Time passed by so quickly huh? Isn't it nice finding a person that you know is a part of you, someone that would finally make you whole? Without him, life is so miserable.... So incomplete.

--Ah, yes… a person that would make me complete… I have been looking for him… for a couple of years now… I'm beginning to wonder if he would ever come. What if he doesn't exist? What if he already crossed my path but I overlooked him? What if I have met him but ignored him? There are so many what ifs in my life, I lost count already. I know deep inside that someone is meant for me, someone that I get to share my jokes, my laughter, my tears, and my life. I am here, aren't you going to find me?

Good Morning to you... hmmm.. .... Sometimes you just can feel what kind of a day you're going to have. And today, I can sense that it's going to be an ordinary day for me, spending it with ordinary people doing ordinary things... In a very ordinary way. Don't you just hate to be ordinary? Being ordinary is not bad.... but sometimes I get the feeling that I just have to be ordinary.. I have to in order to blend in. I seldom get mad.... I hear but I don't listen... I smile though I feel like crying.... The more hurt I am, the louder I laugh.... Is that ordinary? I don't share my problems with anyone... I keep them in me and try to solve them myself... is that ordinary? I am ordinary…just like everyone else. I often wonder if I die... would people cry over my death? How many people will cry? Would they miss me? What will they say about me, about the way I behave, the way that I have lived my life? Sometimes, I just want to die-- just to know the answers to all these questions. I don't have suicidal tendencies; I don't want to kill myself. I just want to know. It’s just a thought…