rants and ramblings

one liner

"... sometimes it's best to forget how you feel, and remember what you deserve."

Labels: one liners

lovescope

Your Lovescope - November 2008

You may realize you have a tendency to repeat the same mistakes in love affairs. Good intentions can fly out the window if you're sexually frustrated at home. Even established lovers can have problems over your refusal to be told what to do. Wisdom comes when you can finally settle down and enjoy a happy sense of companionship with a committed partner. The first week of this month is a lucky time to make a choice for true love. As an Aries, you know your motto could be ''what you see is what you get.'' You're one who can make a very sudden break when a relationship isn't meeting your needs. Around midmonth the spark of passion can rise up, even for an old love interest, and could lead to a one-night stand. This can be confusing for more sensitive types. High energy under the New Moon on November 27 can bring passion and a great sense of fun. This is an ideal week to travel with your sweetheart.

Labels: astrology

love is..

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul."

--St. Augustine

Labels: love

cut your losses and sell

i read an article from this girl. she wrote about the game of love.

It made me think..

Ouch.

Labels: relationships

happy bday nay..

today would have been nanay's 64th birthday.. as i looked at her picture on my table, i remembered her last birthday.. texted her.. happy birthday nay! madami ka bang handa saka bisita? and she texted back-- "walang handa, pansit lang nak" and asked if im on my way home. i remembered her life and cried.

i texted tatayand asked if they're going to the cemetery today. sabi niya hindi daw kasi nagpamisa naman daw. i asked if there's pancit cause that was nanay's favorite. he said wala pansit. sabi ko, sana kahit pancit canton meron. sabi ng tatay ko, "kahit naman nung buhay sya, ayaw nya maghanda."

i really felt bad. kasi totoo.. ni kahit minsan hindi naghanda ng engrande nanay ko nung buhay pa sya. tama na sa kanya ang pansit canton, tinapay at menudo. palagi niyang sinasabi, mairaos lang daw ok na yun.

ngayon...nanghihinayang ako kasi sana kahit ayaw niya naipaghanda namin sya ng engrande. the celebration of her life is all worth it.. she's so worth it..

happy birthday nay.

Labels: family, moments

baddie..

as I was trying to relax i saw this article about warning signs that the person you are with is a baddie. yep, a bad bad person that you should pack your bags, run through the door and never look back.

do read them as they're very informative.. as the saying goes, knowledge is power. kung walang knowledge, walang power. kung walang power-- brownout. Hehe

1. If your parents or siblings have doubts about him/her, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
2. If your partner has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Marital failure is rarely only one person's fault.
3. Look closely at her/his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.
4. Be sure in your heart that you can live with him as he is. You cannot change another person.
5. Beware if he/she has no friends. Even certified loners seek company once in a while and have a bud or two stashed away somewhere.
6. If your friends dislike her/him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.
7. If she/he shows a different personality at work or with others, and seems to be another person when he's alone with you.-- RUN! Don't walk.
8. If he/she is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
9. If he/she is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
10. If he does something wrong and says, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't...", certainly an abuser.

so there.. 10 knowledge points. hope it helps.

Labels: just venting out, relationships

ang tanga ko, promise!

dahil nga hindi ko makita ang flower na nakapaskel sa aking website... naisipan kong palitan ang layout ko. humanap talaga ako ng layout online at nagpakabobo sa pag cut and paste. At dahil na excite ako sa changes... dali dali kong sinave... at sabay preview. Nakalimutan kong itabi ang mga nakalagay sa sidebar ko!! At may gana pa akong magulat nung malaman ko na nawala na yung mga links ko. As in! pati cbox... tapos ang linsyak na profile ko, bumalandra! Syet!

Sa mga naglink sa akin: Wag kayong magagalit kung nawala ang link nyo. naka activate ang comment portion ng blog para jan nyo iwan ang mga link nyo! tulungan nyo ko maibalik ko ang mga nawawalang link.

ang tanga ko. kainis.

Labels: moments

if i were a boy..

BCJean - If I Were A Boy

Labels: songs

adik kasi

sabi ng kaibigan ko, adik daw ako sa relasyon. kasi kahit anong relasyon pa ang pasukin ko.. kahit gano pa kahirap ang dinaranas ko. hindi ko daw makuhang umalis. kahit na hindi na daw tama ang trato sa akin. takot daw akong mag isa.

tama sya na mali.

tama sya kasi gusto kong magtagal lahat ng relasyon ko. kahit na ano pa dinaranas ko, optimistic ako na magbabago ang lahat at maayos rin. mali sya dahil hindi ako takot mag-isa. ang tamang term siguro, pagod na akong mag-isa. hindi mali rin yun.. PAGOD na talaga ako.

Pagod na ako makipaglaban.. Pagod na ako sa ganitong sitwasyon. Gusto ko ng bagong buhay. Bakit kasi di pwedeng take two. Puro na lang History Repeat itself. Nakakasawa.. parang walang patutunguhan...

Nakakapagod umasa. Nakakapagod lumabad. Nakakapagod mag isip. Nakakapagod silang lahat. Gusto kong mawala... kainin ng bula. yun ang gusto ko para makapagpahinga. Makapagpahinga ng mahabang panahon.

Labels: love, moments

confession

i remembered trying hard to be number one. yep, numero uno. but then the irony of my life include taking the backseat and let others enjoy the spotlight. my reality is accepting the fact that i would always be second best.. my ate would always be the perfect daughter... a cousin is prettier.. another is brighter.. it's living a life that's almost there. almost but not quite.

so i stopped trying all together, since no matter how hard i try this would be my lot in the world.

but it was not like that all the time, mind you.

i was a number one in love. however, it was also the time that i realized that when there is a number one, there could be a number two, a number three, a number four and so it goes. so being number one is really not a secured state. with that being said, i never did expect to become a number 2. i never expected that i would find myself in this situation. i know i deserve to be in a better situation.. ironic isn't it? i left the opportunity to become number one to be a number two.

it was not supposed to be like this you see... we were free when we got together. but P's ever present ex made a number 2 out of me. I'm tired of all the drama. i'm tired of feeling like second best. I deserve to be the only one. And I asked my friend about it.. she said "if these people would only know your worth and would give you a chance, you're more than enough..". ewan.

If i am more than enough.. how come i'm here? how come the pain and the trials seemed so endless? i just want to be loved. to be happy. to be in a stable and secure relationship.

P said she's really trying her best to resolve everything... all i know is that their unfinished business is way too many that i know they would never let go of each other. i had told her that i do hope someday she'll make me understand why things had to be this way. but honestly, i don't know how much more i could take. im feeling the tiredness on my shoulders and the pain in my chest becomes more excruciating everyday.

it's frustrating to be in this situation.

Labels: just venting out, love, moments, relationships