Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Inner Change

Thank God, Pope Francis arrived safely in Vatican. Nope, I did not see him personally. I watched everything happened on the tube. Just when everybody wants to go to Manila, I decided to pack my bags and go hibernate.

But something happened in me.

As I watch him arrive, as I hear him speak. My heart listened. I realized that I'm doing very poorly in my spiritual life. Yes, I always pray...but I know now that it's not enough. I want to do something.. I want to be part of something big. I have been living in a small, limited world.

When Pope John Paul II died. It seems I relied on myself for my spiritual nurturing. Yes, we hear mass (occasionally)  but listening to the word without any action is just incomplete. What I am doing is not enough. When I heard Pope Francis speak.. he spoke with my heart, he made me understand that all senses must work harmoniously. Speak Well, Feel Well and Do Well.  I will keep on dreaming. I pray that I will never lose the desire to dream. 

Do not worry Papa Franciscus, I will do my best. I will keep searching and with the guidance of the Joseph, Mary and Jesus, we will succeed.

Thank you for your time Pope Francis, May God protect you and keep you. We pray for your health and long life. We love you.

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posted by jaded fool @ 8:10 AM  

Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012: my year ender

It's that time of year again when I count the blessings that i recieved for the year.. I would say this year has been good to my career cause i finally grew up professionally and i value my job more.I travelled a lot both in my work and leisure. my family and i get to see Palawan. Relationship-wise.. still longing for my long lost love.. broke up finally with P.. And decided to move on from what G and I were having, whatever taht is. I met someone who adores me like crazy.. but i have to wait till 2013 to see how it'll go.

there were a lot of catastrophes that made my heart break. this year i lost both Lola's.

no matter what, i am still thankful that i get to live the year..met new friends.. and accomplished a lot. To you God, you have always been wonderful to me. thank you so much for always having my back. i love you.

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posted by jaded fool @ 8:05 PM  

Saturday, November 17, 2012

ay ambot..

I have been trying to draft a decision on this !@!@#!@ case. And I must admit that I am really having a hard time. It's hard to draft something which is against your sense of judgment. Time pressured. I.must.not.give.up.

I wish God will be provide me with answers and guide me in drafting this resolution. My head is honestly empty. Stock knowledge is not enough. I need research materials or a miracle. I believe in miracles and I know God will save my butt. Need to think.. Need to analyze.

But I'll start again tomorrow. In the meantime, Itutulog ko nalang to. =D

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posted by jaded fool @ 11:20 PM  

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Grrr.. Aborted.



I do not have any plans of writing today. It is not included in my itinerary. In fact, what i had in mind is to sing my lungs out while drinking my apple flavored beer.. That is after i am done doing the grocery. What pushed me to write is the talk with my older sister on the way home. She pissed me off big time.

Earlier today i told her about how i love the thought of living in a metropolized province. On our way home, i told her i shouldve taken the offer of the regional director. I was surprised by her answer because it was not just stupid.. It was selfish as well! She told me, pano naman kami ni tatay.. Tatatlo na nga lang tayo. I got angry and said, ano ba! The world is so big para magkuyungyungan tayong tatlo jan sa bulacan!! She then answered, pano tatay mo.. So i replied, tatay went to discover the world at the age of 17. Alam mo yun? Growing up doesnt mean i will forget this family. I just want to explore my world! Expand my knowledge! Learn a new language or culture.. Meet new people!

Its a moment that i wished nanay is still here. I know she would let me grow.. My ate is aborting me and my growth as a human being. Please God, dont make me hate my family but please help them accept and understand that I need to grow on my own. I need my own space and i need to make use of my time wisely. Please stop them from blackmailing me. I just want to experience life the way i want it to be.

Its so frustrating that i am feeling this way. I feel like a captive. All these years, their love has grown to selfishness. If you are reading this, i need help. Please help me. Free me.

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posted by jaded fool @ 7:27 PM  

Monday, August 08, 2011

work crazy



i need a break. a long long break from this shit called work. every monday we have to go through this hell.. ay caramba! my schedule is crazy.. i literally have to joggle my time and attention to things that some people find mundane. i just wish that i get to relax soon.. really soon, i will have better working conditions (meaning i will have a stress free, good paying and FUN job), i will have adorable and sweet beau.. and joy will just naturally flow from my heart. hehe. so until my schedule gets stable and all these shit has come to an end- i will just have cross my effing fingers and wait.


in the meantime, a date in the movies will suit me just fine.

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posted by jaded fool @ 5:00 PM  

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

prayer of surrender



i got from a friend's stats in fb. just what i needed,come pray with me.

PRAYER OF SURRENDER

Lord Jesus Christ, I ask the grace to accept the sadness in my heart, as your will for me, in this moment. I offer it up, in union with your sufferings, for those who are in deepest need of your redeeming grace. I surrender myself to your Father's will and I ask you to help me to move on to the next task that you have set for me.

amen.

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posted by jaded fool @ 8:42 AM